Thursday, October 18, 2007
Bearsuits Are Funny
I would recommend that the person who reads this blog make a move to check out bearsuits are funny blog this weekend. My friend Russell and I will be decimating everything that is comfortable about blogging and this whole internet fad. I also realize that no one reads this thing, so I am reminding myself, and my mom, who supports me in everything I do.
Tuesday, October 9, 2007
Tuesdays Gone
Is that title not just the funniest, cleverest title for a Tuesday blog at the end of the day? Sometimes I am amazed by my own abilities to entertain. Not just myself but all of those around me. It is true that I can go overboard, but I love to entertain, and little quips like that just show it to the world. Just like this blog, it shows my ability to be fun and entertaining to the entire world. I know that many people are reading this, even though no one has commented. I think it is because they are either too pleased or too dumbstruck to say anything. I know, when it comes to blogging, I have it going on. That statement is fun, kids back in the nineties used to say that. Those were some good times.
Ohh, my own sarcastic awesomeness leads nothing to be desired. It is so much fun being able to type in a weird font and then change it up. It lets all my readers know that I have become a different, more serious voice and not the sarcastic so and so from the beginning of the entry here. What a great technology, and I love referencing the nineties. Someone should make a show about how much I miss that decade of greatness. Clinton was in the White House, men were men, women were women, and the world hated us with a quiet passion that belied our unwavering confidence in all things American. Truly, a great decade. Now we are stuck in this one. A real quagmire if you will. Bush is in the White House and things suck. This is not a new sentiment, just one I have not expressed and I am sure that so many people are clamoring to hear my thoughts on our president. Hatred for America is shocking around the world. I had no idea that we were so despised by so many people. We are like the really hot chick at school who is snobby. Everyone hates us because we are powerful, cool, and better in almost every way, but secretly, they all want to be inside of us. I hope that was not too much of a stretch for anyone. Just a really great analogy to cap off this segment.
I do not have too much to say tonight so I will not bore myself with typing every bane thought that runs through my head. I am glad to be done with the book, The Age of Missing Information, for class. It was a good book.and I started on the outline tonight, which is not due for a week. That is so awesome. I rarely get things going early, but this semester I have been really good at that. Must be my passion for learning or some shit. Anyway, goodnight me, or the other lonely late night Internet crawler who may read this or pass right over it. I enjoyed your company again tonight.
Ohh, my own sarcastic awesomeness leads nothing to be desired. It is so much fun being able to type in a weird font and then change it up. It lets all my readers know that I have become a different, more serious voice and not the sarcastic so and so from the beginning of the entry here. What a great technology, and I love referencing the nineties. Someone should make a show about how much I miss that decade of greatness. Clinton was in the White House, men were men, women were women, and the world hated us with a quiet passion that belied our unwavering confidence in all things American. Truly, a great decade. Now we are stuck in this one. A real quagmire if you will. Bush is in the White House and things suck. This is not a new sentiment, just one I have not expressed and I am sure that so many people are clamoring to hear my thoughts on our president. Hatred for America is shocking around the world. I had no idea that we were so despised by so many people. We are like the really hot chick at school who is snobby. Everyone hates us because we are powerful, cool, and better in almost every way, but secretly, they all want to be inside of us. I hope that was not too much of a stretch for anyone. Just a really great analogy to cap off this segment.
I do not have too much to say tonight so I will not bore myself with typing every bane thought that runs through my head. I am glad to be done with the book, The Age of Missing Information, for class. It was a good book.and I started on the outline tonight, which is not due for a week. That is so awesome. I rarely get things going early, but this semester I have been really good at that. Must be my passion for learning or some shit. Anyway, goodnight me, or the other lonely late night Internet crawler who may read this or pass right over it. I enjoyed your company again tonight.
Wednesday, October 3, 2007
Red River Revelry
Let's take a minute to dissect something here. There is a phenomena in this country that seems to cripple communities. This phenomena goes by many names but I believe the most common of those names is the town festival. In Louisiana these festivals are as common as trailer park living welfare recipients. Any town in this state seems to feel that it is important enough to section off a part of the town or city and turn it into a cultural wasteland of absolutely no culture, at least none that I could identify. The local festival that I was dragged to by friends and a very interested girlfriend is absolutely no different. I speak in general terms about the food, music, people and atmosphere of the entire place. Everyone is as generic Southern American as there could be cordoned off in a mile block. There is nothing special about any of it. I think you will find this to be the case at any local festival in any small to medium sized city in this country. "Let's celebrate our diversity and love of life with a bunch of the same shit that every town with a barely competent government and 45-99 year old festival planning commission can muster up." That is in fact the actual slogan, but they jazz it up with words like "heritage", "culture", "history", and anything else that might make us thing there is a common thread we are all sharing.
In reality this is just a great chance for the city, food producers, and drink producers to make a shit ton of money on the same shit that cost about 95% less everywhere else in the world. And the reason they do this, people will pay it, including yours truly. Although that spending goes sky high when the lady is around because women love to experience shit first hand, i.e. through their senses...all of them...with your money. So food must taste better and beer must satisfy more because its more expensive and we are outside listen to the Crazy Rhythms or Blues Boots or any other of the myriad of less than mediocre wedding bands the city could afford to get to play on a Wednesday night in the middle of October in a town that is somewhere between Dallas, New Orleans, and Hell. I guess the Rolling Stones were all booked up tonight or they surely would have played. Wait, whats that? Why its the sounds of Beasts of Burden, the Rolling Stones cover band and all around dickheads who played my cousin Cindy and her alcoholic baby's daddy's wedding last fall. They are so awesome. They know "Start Me Up" and "Jumpin' Jack Flash." That's it. The rest of their songs are not even Rolling Stones covers, but the only way anyone with ears or taste would hire them is if they sell their connection to the Stones and ROCK MUSIC history. Go fuck yourself!
Also is it something about overpriced food, stale warm beer, and shitty, shitty music that brings out the ugliest people in the world, or at least in the Ark-La-Tex? That's right asshole, we live in the Ark-La-Tex. Its three states real close together so we call them one name and it makes us easier to forget we hate ourselves and our lives. The best part about living here is that one in about 600,000 people has been out of the area for more than a second so we all know everything about the rest of the country and the world. (Side note: the total population of the area might be around 600,000 people, so that one guy is really cool and gets all the hot chick.(Not a typo by the way, there is one hot chick from here who has not left at some point.))All this means is that no one has ever left this part of the country for very long and they know so much about the rest of the world and they LOVE to tell you about it. Just a city full of world travelers who decided to roll the dice and stay wherever there private plans land. Back to the point, this place has more ugly people than an Internet dating site. The only problem is that the fat uglies who inhabit this land can not paste pictures of non mutants as they walk around so we are all forced to look at them all day. One question: Tube top with fat rolls? Why God? Why? It is almost too much for a young college man with energy and a libido that could power a train from New York to Chicago in a day to deal with. It is almost enough to ruin any outing.
There is one light at the end of this dark, expensive, earsplitting, and cramped tunnel. That li
ght is hot older chicks with big fake racks. These woman truly light up my world. In this town, as in so many others, they are everywhere. Like illegal immigrants their numbers are growing daily, however, that is where the similarities end. For these are a welcome addition to any community and while they provide so much ocular enjoyment, they will not be doing, nor should they be, any labor outside or inside of your house nor any construction work. Unless building a city full of men with massive erections is something that one needs a contractors license for. But they all generally look the same, dress the same, and make you want to have sex with them to the same degree. I think the image to the right depicts a pretty hot older chick with great boobs and the shirts they are prone to wear. Alas, these beauties are few and far between and rarely attainable as they have managed to attract either the greatest number of douchebag forty year olds or their husbands are war vets who ride motorcycles and kick faggot's asses for a living, and they make a handsome wage doing so as they have paid for their hot wife's tits.
The local town festival is full of reasons to hate going to it, yet every year we are all drawn to it. There must be something about the environment, the people, or we all hate ourselves. Even stupid hipster with a computer and a blog no one reads goes to these places, if for nothing else then to vent and find a reason to complain about life. Sometimes daddy's trust fund just does not cut it when it comes to bitching about life. Well, its actually to see how ugly humanity can actually be and how hot older chicks can make themselves if they only try. But that is just my take on the whole thing. Which is the only take that matters in any forum. Go ahead, just try to make it seem like your opinion is better than mine and you will see that you are so wrong I am even more right.
In reality this is just a great chance for the city, food producers, and drink producers to make a shit ton of money on the same shit that cost about 95% less everywhere else in the world. And the reason they do this, people will pay it, including yours truly. Although that spending goes sky high when the lady is around because women love to experience shit first hand, i.e. through their senses...all of them...with your money. So food must taste better and beer must satisfy more because its more expensive and we are outside listen to the Crazy Rhythms or Blues Boots or any other of the myriad of less than mediocre wedding bands the city could afford to get to play on a Wednesday night in the middle of October in a town that is somewhere between Dallas, New Orleans, and Hell. I guess the Rolling Stones were all booked up tonight or they surely would have played. Wait, whats that? Why its the sounds of Beasts of Burden, the Rolling Stones cover band and all around dickheads who played my cousin Cindy and her alcoholic baby's daddy's wedding last fall. They are so awesome. They know "Start Me Up" and "Jumpin' Jack Flash." That's it. The rest of their songs are not even Rolling Stones covers, but the only way anyone with ears or taste would hire them is if they sell their connection to the Stones and ROCK MUSIC history. Go fuck yourself!
Also is it something about overpriced food, stale warm beer, and shitty, shitty music that brings out the ugliest people in the world, or at least in the Ark-La-Tex? That's right asshole, we live in the Ark-La-Tex. Its three states real close together so we call them one name and it makes us easier to forget we hate ourselves and our lives. The best part about living here is that one in about 600,000 people has been out of the area for more than a second so we all know everything about the rest of the country and the world. (Side note: the total population of the area might be around 600,000 people, so that one guy is really cool and gets all the hot chick.(Not a typo by the way, there is one hot chick from here who has not left at some point.))All this means is that no one has ever left this part of the country for very long and they know so much about the rest of the world and they LOVE to tell you about it. Just a city full of world travelers who decided to roll the dice and stay wherever there private plans land. Back to the point, this place has more ugly people than an Internet dating site. The only problem is that the fat uglies who inhabit this land can not paste pictures of non mutants as they walk around so we are all forced to look at them all day. One question: Tube top with fat rolls? Why God? Why? It is almost too much for a young college man with energy and a libido that could power a train from New York to Chicago in a day to deal with. It is almost enough to ruin any outing.
There is one light at the end of this dark, expensive, earsplitting, and cramped tunnel. That li
ght is hot older chicks with big fake racks. These woman truly light up my world. In this town, as in so many others, they are everywhere. Like illegal immigrants their numbers are growing daily, however, that is where the similarities end. For these are a welcome addition to any community and while they provide so much ocular enjoyment, they will not be doing, nor should they be, any labor outside or inside of your house nor any construction work. Unless building a city full of men with massive erections is something that one needs a contractors license for. But they all generally look the same, dress the same, and make you want to have sex with them to the same degree. I think the image to the right depicts a pretty hot older chick with great boobs and the shirts they are prone to wear. Alas, these beauties are few and far between and rarely attainable as they have managed to attract either the greatest number of douchebag forty year olds or their husbands are war vets who ride motorcycles and kick faggot's asses for a living, and they make a handsome wage doing so as they have paid for their hot wife's tits.The local town festival is full of reasons to hate going to it, yet every year we are all drawn to it. There must be something about the environment, the people, or we all hate ourselves. Even stupid hipster with a computer and a blog no one reads goes to these places, if for nothing else then to vent and find a reason to complain about life. Sometimes daddy's trust fund just does not cut it when it comes to bitching about life. Well, its actually to see how ugly humanity can actually be and how hot older chicks can make themselves if they only try. But that is just my take on the whole thing. Which is the only take that matters in any forum. Go ahead, just try to make it seem like your opinion is better than mine and you will see that you are so wrong I am even more right.
Early Gestation
Thinking of the various ways one can get ready in the morning and you might lose your mind. I would think that typing out your thoughts on the Internet would be the best way to get the job accomplished. Well I thought wrong you might say. However, I just got the feeling I should do some typing this morning since I got to write my first article for the school paper and it was very exciting. Even the idea of walking across campus and rushing into a stranger's space did not scare me as much as I suspected it would. It was actually a lot of fun gathering the information and then putting it all on paper. I just hope they got it in time since I had to go to my other job before I could send it to them.
Big game this weekend with LSU playing Florida. It is going to be a real barn burner, to use a cliche early in the morning. Florida is one of the toughest teams in the country and coming off an emotional loss to Auburn the week before will only make them angry I feel. Also, LSU played like warm shit last weekend. I hope that level on energy and enthusiasm for football has been forgotten by the Tigers. A game like last weekend and the boys will be down 105-0 by the half. Good luck.
Might make it down to the game, which will be awesome. Hopefully I can work the ride thing out and get my ass down there. Sucks Lindsey will not be able to make it due to our house sitting duties. For some reason those really chap my ass. Anyway, I want to go with or without her to BR this weekend for the game experience.
Reading a great book about television, mass media, and the loss of the total human experience through TV. Written in 1992 but most of it is still relevant in more ways than I can count. Its funny how little things can change in 15 years yet we all feel that life is so much different now than it was then. Although there a more than a few similarities and that is besides the presidents have the same name. It is called The Age of Missing Information and it is by Bill McKibben. Really, really good stuff. All this you can learn just by being in college, amazing.
Big game this weekend with LSU playing Florida. It is going to be a real barn burner, to use a cliche early in the morning. Florida is one of the toughest teams in the country and coming off an emotional loss to Auburn the week before will only make them angry I feel. Also, LSU played like warm shit last weekend. I hope that level on energy and enthusiasm for football has been forgotten by the Tigers. A game like last weekend and the boys will be down 105-0 by the half. Good luck.
Might make it down to the game, which will be awesome. Hopefully I can work the ride thing out and get my ass down there. Sucks Lindsey will not be able to make it due to our house sitting duties. For some reason those really chap my ass. Anyway, I want to go with or without her to BR this weekend for the game experience.
Reading a great book about television, mass media, and the loss of the total human experience through TV. Written in 1992 but most of it is still relevant in more ways than I can count. Its funny how little things can change in 15 years yet we all feel that life is so much different now than it was then. Although there a more than a few similarities and that is besides the presidents have the same name. It is called The Age of Missing Information and it is by Bill McKibben. Really, really good stuff. All this you can learn just by being in college, amazing.
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