Thursday, July 22, 2010

Thursday Afternoon Pointlessness w/ Ashley Green Bookends

Inspiring? I think so too.




I am trying to overcome the huge weight of my lunch right now. This amazing lunch consisted of fried chicken, rice and gravy, cornbread, black-eyed peas, garden salad, and an apple juice because I am a big boy and can drink by myself. But it is sitting on me right now making me sleepy. I feel like R136a1 is in my stomach right now. (Inspired reference I know. I am so relevant and worldly. Thanks semi-nude Ashley Green!)

It was totally worth this "heavy" feeling though because I got all that food for three bucks. Low cost, a lot of food, plus it doesn't taste like the floor of a strip club. Pretty unbelievable. One could never claim that the imprisoned do not eat well. I can personally testify to the fact that they eat like kings three times a day. If I was poor and was not sure where my food might be coming from on a day to day basis I would commit crimes just for the meals. In truth, many of the young people detained here could very possibly be doing that. It makes sense.

In old but I just found out about it news, Nickelback, the worst thing to come out of Canada since…well, ever I think, has gotten some love from the popular video game, Rockband. Apparently there is now “Nickelback Packs” for idiots and people with absolutely no taste to download giving them the ability to mimic jamming to their favorite songs from the rock group. Incidentally, that is exactly what Nickelback has been doing for some time now.

Is "Landmine" Canadian French for Nickelback songs?

Do you know anyone that likes Nickelback? Me neither, but they are always around and always in the Top 10 or something for their music. So someone must be in love with this band or there is a huge Canadian government conspiracy to keep all things Canadian relevant in U.S. pop culture. I believe they continually buy and promote Nickelback’s albums to make sure that they are always being heard around the world. I cannot confirm this and everyone I talk to in the Canadian government tells me that I am crazy, but I believe I will one day find out the real reason behind their unexplainable success. If you ask anyone you know they will deny liking the band so there must be some reason behind their popularity.


Send money and/or donate your time if you feel like helping me out with my project to uncover some of the world's largest and most complex conspiracies. 

Yes, very inspiring indeed.

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